Saturday, 21 November 2009

Christmas Goodies at Aldi

Aldi shopping cartsHere’s a situation you might be familiar with:

Ok, so you’re standing in line at Aldi, and you feel the tension mounting as you take a look at your shopping cart overfilled with you-can’t-remember-the-heck what, along with 20 packages of Christmas goodies for the fam abroad. The woman behind you, an older Frau with stiff white hair that looks like every strand’s been put into place individually is really still, but she’s actually screaming inside and eyeing your shopping cart without really seeing you. She just has four things in her cart. You’d like to let her pass in front of you, but the line’s really long and everyone behind the Frau has four things in their cart, so to be fair, you pretend to be visually impaired and wait for a space to be free on the conveyor belt.

When a four centimeter strip of conveyor belt suddenly becomes visible, the tension in the line becomes palpable. You slowly pick up a package of Lebkuchen. You place it on the conveyor belt. When another space appears, you place two more packages of Lebkuchen onto the conveyor belt. And then two more, and so on and so forth, until you get to the can’t –remember-the-heck-what stuff (oh cool! A fly swatter and new toilet brush!).

By the time you get to the toilet brush, the cashier has scanned all your stuff and is telling you something you think means “Bring your cart here NOW!” so you bring your cart to him NOW and he pushes everything into the cart, looks at your pile of merchandise still on the conveyor belt and rings the bell to call in his colleague.

“Register two will be opening up in a moment.”

The tension you’d felt behind you suddenly shifts toward the poor Aldi employee who suddenly appears from the place Aldi employees suddenly appear from and the shuffle of the four item carts begins. Meanwhile you are piling your merchandise into your cart. Now the Christmas goodies are lying under the toilet brush and the fly swatter.

And then it’s time to pay. You dig around your purse for your wallet while the cashier clears his throat with impatience. You pay, the receipt is thrown into your cart, and then you have to figure out how to bring all the stuff in the cart home, but that’s another story.